Stable & Port,
How did we get here? From nine months of growing you to three years later; cherishing every second of how much we’ve grown together. All the days we’d be forced to figure it out, just the three of us, and how we’d always find a way to laugh through it. That these 1,095 days would feel like the most beautiful blur of my entire life.
Each year has brought its own firsts, but within the last few months, you’re growing into yourselves more than ever and I’m so proud of who you are. So honored to be your first love and the one who gets to teach you how to. There’s no greater role, no day taken for granted.
I’ve always told you that you have the best big sister and this year, you became the best brothers to her, too. For the longest time, you simply watched and learned from her, but this year, I got to watch you love her back. Wholeheartedly. You kissed her boo boos, along with each others, checking in on her at every turn. You notice when she’s not in the room and you love starting and ending all of your days together. It’s the most special thing in the world to see how much you adore each other and it’s such a gift to have a front row seat to.
Stabie Baby – I love how unapologetically you love. From your toy animals to your favorite people, you’re constantly reminding everything and everyone around you how much you care for them. I love how when I wink at you from the front seat you blink both of your eyes. I love how your world stops when you see a neigh-neigh. I love how confidently independent you are. I love how you disappear to play on your own and dream up a little world that only you know exists. I love how you were the one with the dairy allergy, and now you ask for a yogurt every 4 minutes, like you’re making up for lost time. I love how you say “Mommy, it’s so cozy” every single time I cover you up in bed. I love how affectionate you’ve grown to be and how you put your little hands on my face each morning when you climb into our bed. I love how you hate a bandaid, but love taking medicine “like a big boy”. I love that hardly anyone can understand your words except mama. I love the way you take off running, even though I beg you to slow down. I love your genuine excitement about the smallest of things. I love that little heart and who you’re becoming.
Before I knew there were two of you, I already knew your name was Stable. Let’s be honest, there were moments where we laughed about that because Lord knows, there were days where it felt like there should’ve been an UN in front of it. But aren’t we all? It took me sitting still and leaning in to learn your heart and now I fully understand what you were trying to teach me all along. You’ve taught me to slow down, say it again, and just sit in the moment. In the joy, in the hard, and in everything between the two. You’ve given me a steadiness I never knew I was missing. A ‘stability’, if you will, and as much as I am that for you, you will always be that times a million for me. I love who you are – “all the time”, as you say.
Port Port – I love how technically you’re baby ‘B’, but you do everything first and in the sweetest way. Almost like you’re doing it first so you can teach Stabie how to do it all, too. You walked first, talked first, climbed out of your crib first and most everything in-between, but you are always so patient in the process. I love that you’re the life of the party. Always turning on a speaker in the other room for a dance party and inviting everyone around you to join in. I love how much you make us all laugh. I love how you need to two pacis to sleep and always have. I love how you so easily bend in your wants to make sure everyone gets a turn. I love that you ask if you can lay with me every morning, even if it is at 5am. I love the helper you are and how you want to do everything “just like daddy”. I love your full-blown sentences and how you use your words to describe how you feel. I love that you’re equally aware as you are unapologetic. I love how much you love Danny Go and ask for it 182 times a day. I love your soft spirit and how hard you love the people we do life with.
They say you don’t know what you don’t know and having two of you to love is the greatest joy of my life. I could never imagine a world without you in it. When we decided to name you Port, I never dreamed the definition of the word would be exactly who you are to your core. ‘A safe place for ships to take refuge from the storm.’ If you are never that to anyone else, baby boy, just know that’s what you will always be to me. Your gentleness has carried me more days than I’d like to admit and you are one in a million, Porty Port. I promise to remind you of that every day of your life.
I’ve gotten a lot wrong, just to get a lot right, and you two are the perfect examples of that. Reminding me every single day that that fear has no place here and love is all the matters at the end of them. Today, the night before you wake up as 3 year olds – I’m holding my breath, hoping I’ll slow down time. I’m not ready for all the change ahead, but there’s one thing I know to be true – there will never be a time when you’re not mama’s babies.
I love every ounce of you, Stable and Port. Happy Birthday, my baby boys.