5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT BLOGGING IN 5 YEARS | BEHIND THE BLOG
Hi there, lovelies -
I hope you're all having a great week! I've wanted to sit down and write a 'Behind the Blog' post for over a month now, but haven't quite been able to put everything I'm feeling into words. Or at least the right words. After a few weeks and three drafts all with different titles, I'm hoping that I can verbalize exactly what's been on my heart and mind. For the last couple months, obviously our lives have simply felt off. After thinking about it, that's the only word I can use to adequately describe what we've been feeling - just off. We sold our home in 24 hours, had 30 days to move out around the holidays, packed our entire lives into one huge storage room, purchased another home that we LOVE, but needs to be completely renovated, and moved what little we brought with us in with our family. Whew. For a while I was just going through the motions, knowing this is the process that would take us from point A to point B. I'm a pretty literal person, so for the most part, I was taking all of this with a grain of salt. However, I also feel things really hard. Like really, really hard. So, the 'off' feeling I've had during this transition has really tested me these last few months.
I actually hit a milestone back in February - FIVE years of blogging. When I took a step back and realized it was that time of year, I literally had to count twice, using my hands, because I didn't think there was any way it could be that long! In some ways it feels like yesterday that I sat down with an idea, having no idea what I was doing, created a website, and started taking photos - in my driveway of all places. In other ways, I reflect on how much I've grown as a person, everything that has changed in our lives, and all the amazing things I've been able to be a part of since starting For All Things Lovely in 2012. But, regardless of how long I felt it had been, for some reason I didn't have a desire to acknowledge it or draw attention to it. In other milestone years, I would plan a big shoot - full of macarons and champagne, but since February, all I've been trying to figure out is what the next five will look like, rather than celebrating the present. Because I work from home, I had no idea the toll that this transition would take on me creatively as a blogger. I am BEYOND grateful to get to do what I love every day and I know this is THE dream job. It's definitely my dream job. Being able to wake up every day and do what I love - there are no words. So many people never get to do that and I feel so grateful. But like any job, that doesn't mean that it's always easy or that it doesn't have it's moments of feeling like complete chaos. What should've been my five year celebration felt more like a five year slump. However, I had to realize that my 'slump' was probably more about our whirlwind transition than anything else. Transitioning from one stage or place in life to another can be really hard, but most of all just takes time. So, it took me a couple of months of reflecting to figure out exactly what this five year mark means to me - the mistakes I've made along the way, and what I've learned. So here goes nothin' -
1. DO YOU.
To me, this is the most important lesson I've learned. Staying true to yourself in every aspect of life is important, but I really had to figure this out for myself and my blog over the last few years. In blogging, or really just anytime you get a group of women all in the same room/category, there's bound to be a few difficult moments. I've never really been a competitive person, but in my early years of blogging, I felt like I HAD to be. In this world, all of your numbers are so visible to everyone else. How many 'likes' you get on a photo, your comments, your followers and how fast they're growing, etc - it's all out there for everyone to see, but most of all compare. I struggled with this for a long time, but I also saw how the competitiveness brought out the worst in people. I've always been determined to never be one of them. I love the quote 'Never do the envy, jealousy and insecure stuff. Be the hustler, the go-getter, and the well-wisher.' I literally knew girls who wouldn't like a bloggers photo because they didn't want to give them the satisfaction of growing their numbers. I mean, is this real life? The minute you can be genuinely happy for another's success is the moment you know you've figured it out. I've learned to focus on progress rather than competition. Five years later, I have made so many beautiful friends through blogging and want to support them in any and every way I possibly can. I want to bring the magic out in them, celebrate the little and the big things, the good and the bad - that's what friends are for. Sometimes nice girls finish last, but I'd take that any day over the alternative.
2. DON'T SWEAT IT.
Giving myself a little grace when needed (aka, these past few months) has been a big learning experience for me. Actually one that I'm still daily trying to figure out. It's so easy to get caught up in the little things that we make bigger and bigger in our heads. I've had to learn that the world WILL go on if I don't post on instagram for a day or finish my blog post at night. I know that sounds so silly, but when it's your job to do those things and they don't get done, it's such a heavy weight to carry around at the end of the day. But, I've realized in the past year that sometimes life just simply has to come first. There are going to be days when you just can't do it all - and that's okay. I've had to learn to be extremely disciplined, balance work/home life, and know that it's okay that I'm not a unicorn - all while not sweating the small stuff.
3. FIND WHAT INSPIRES YOU.
When I used to work in an office, my favorite part of every week was our Friday morning meeting. It was the one time of the week where the entire department got together, discussed strategies, and bounced ideas off of each other. By the time I left the company to blog full time, I was leading those Friday meetings and thrived off of having a supportive team around me. I went from that to a one man show in my living room. As I mentioned above, the first few months were a lot of trial and error as I figured out exactly what worked for me and my schedule. Although, I was still missing something creatively. I started to realize that there were days that I didn't feel creative enough to create great content. Especially five years in, coming up with new and exciting content can be difficult. So, I started reflecting on what inspires me. I've always, always been a lover of music. I listen to each and every word of a song and feel it to my core. I love deep, meaningful song lyrics that make you feel things normal words don't. So I started taking time out of my morning to listen to those songs that would motivate me to write or be creative. I also have at least 3 movies that I LOVE and can watch over and over. Sorry J, I know you didn't WANT to know all of the words to Sex in the City One AND TWO. But, sometimes even turning on one of my OG movies while I work helps me feel like myself and become motivated again. And last, but not least, there's the water. I know I've talked about this so many times before, but for me, being by the water is good for my soul. It's healing, mind clearing, and rejuvenating - everything I need to feel totally inspired.
4. PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE.
This one was really hard for me and I actually didn't do it for a long time. For the first couple of years I started blogging, I wrote 'cookie-cutter' paragraphs at the bottom of every post. It wasn't until I opened up and shared my story with you that I really realized how good it was. Even if it was just good for me. Taking a photo and talking about how amazing a sweater feels is the easy part - being vunerable and letting people in is another story. Writing has always been an outlet for me, but once I was transparent and felt your love + support, I realized that nothing is more genuine than being relatable. Some days it's hard to post a photo like everything is ok when you're breaking down on the inside. Other days I simply don't feel as strong as I know I am. But, we ALL have those days and all share those feelings. Sometimes you just need a little help from your friends to get through it. After all, it's the lows that make the highs so sweet.
5. SECOND WIND.
So, here we are five years later, I'm catching my breath, and my second wind is kicking in! Yes, it took me a couple of months to figure out what that looked like, but I needed that time more than you know. Sometimes reflection is completely necessary for moving forward. I've put so much work into For All Things Lovely over the years and I've never been more passionate or proud about anything in my life. I love the FATL family we've created and appreciate your kind words and sweet comments every day more than you'll ever know! It's literally because of you guys that I get to do what I love and know that I'll never take that for granted for a second. If you're still reading, and God love you if you are, here's where you come in:
What do you guys want to see more of this year? Anything from Fashion (closet staples, investment pieces, affordable trendy pieces, weekly #OOTDs, etc) to Home Decor (as we renovate our new place!) to Travel (city guides, bucket list places, etc)?! Or anything else you want to request! Let me know in the comment section below and thank you all so much!
Cheers to five years and many more! xoxoxo.
-M