HOW I REMAINED MYSELF DURING THE FIRST 20 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY
Dress: Naked Wardrobe | Shoes: Zara
As most of you know, because J and I were tracking things so closely, we found out we were pregnant the first possible day we could. AKA, basically 2 weeks pregnant at the time. Most people, who aren’t on fertility meds or tracking day by day like we were, find out around 4-8 weeks, so in the back of my mind I assumed the next 38 weeks would go by slowly. In the beginning few weeks they did, simply because we were so anxious and cautious about making sure she was healthy and okay every minute of the day. However, because we were seeing a fertility doctor throughout that process, we were so fortunate to be able to check on her often. By the time we were 8 weeks, we’d already had 3 doctor appointments, blood work drawn every week, and 2 ultrasounds. Needless to say, making sure this was real and she was okay consumed our minds for quite some time, as it would any new mom. However, throughout all of that, I was determined to remain myself in every way possible, without letting the fact that I was pregnant take over my life. I wanted it to organically change me, without forcing it.
Regardless, those first few weeks/the first trimester are a bit odd. All of a sudden, your entire life feels different, but doesn’t really look different. (Let me preface this entire post by saying that every pregnancy is completely different. I was beyond blessed to not be sick one single day, which these days, feels unheard of. For those mom’s out there that were, even though their bodies may not look much different in that first trimester, running to the bathroom every 5 minutes and feeling nauseous all day IS quite different. One of my best friends told me early on that she believes when you struggle to get pregnant, you don’t struggle as much during pregnancy. I don’t know if there’s any validity to that, but thankfully, it most definitely was the case for me.) The changes start to flow instantly because you think harder about every single thing you’re putting into your body, your workouts shift, your skincare routine and the products you use on a daily basis lessen, your nightly baths are suddenly lukewarm and your evening ‘treat’ goes from a glass of cabernet to a glass of chocolate milk. The only “side effect”, if you can even call it that, I had throughout my first trimester was how tired I became around 3:00 each day. For a couple of weeks, I took an hour nap almost every day in the late afternoon until my second trimester gave me the boost of energy I’d been lacking. Again, pregnancy and especially those initial few weeks look different for everyone, but throughout that time, I made sure my mindset was in the right place so that I continued to feel like myself. It was, and still is, really important to me.
+ If I felt tired, I took a nap so I could be present and lively, rather than sluggish and exhausted, by the time J got home from work so we could enjoy our evenings together as usual.
+ I didn’t let my social life fall apart – quite the opposite actually. I still went out and stayed up late with friends, still hosted family dinners at our house and still planned happy hour dates even though I couldn’t indulge. Order a mocktail or a sparkling water with a lime and still go out and have fun – life doesn’t have to stop just because you’re pregnant.
+ On that note, I still wanted J to live his best life. Anyone who knows him, knows that he’s happiest with a fancy tequila in hand so most days, I was (and still am) the one pouring it for him. I never wanted anyone to change anything for me, I’d just pretend with them and then drive us home!
+ I continued to be mindful of my body. Let’s be honest, when you find out you’re pregnant, it usually feels like a free pass to eat anything you want and stop working out all together. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely indulge and I’ve taken too many days off from my fitness routine, but it’s a balance. I haven’t stopped eating healthy or working out, it just looks a bit different now. I’m using a chart my doctor recommended to track my weight gain week by week, all while enjoying my pregnancy cravings, simply because I want to be healthy for myself and Tiny – now and after she’s here.
+ I didn’t let pregnancy slow me down. I’m usually a planner who’s running all over the place most of the day. My friends and family would constantly say ‘oh, you’re pregnant, you probably don’t want to do that’ and my response would be ‘so?’ Obviously, all while taking care of my body, but I never allowed pregnancy to be an excuse in a negative way. I didn’t pull the pregnancy card to get out of chores around the house or commitments and I definitely didn’t constantly remind my friends and family that I was pregnant. Even though Tiny, and her well-being are constantly on my mind, it’s not all I talk about and I don’t feel the need to be checked on 1000 times a day. As long as the three of us are okay (my, J and bèbè), I’m okay.
I truly think so much of this, and remaining yourself throughout pregnancy in general, is such a mindset thing. It took us a year and a half to conceive so the fact that it finally worked and she’s healthy, makes me feel beyond grateful. I never allow myself to feel held back, I don’t feel like I need to be catered to, I don’t even miss the glass of wine when every one else is toasting – I just feel so thankful to be where we are. We’re 23 weeks today and the more I see my body change + feel her move inside of me, it reminds me how beautiful this process is and how I never want to take one second of it for granted. She’s an answer to prayer in so many ways and there’s nothing I’m missing out on during these 9 months – I’m better because of her.