DEAR LINEN | TWO YEARS LATER.
LINEN JAMES –
There aren’t enough words in the English language to tell you how much I adore you. You have stolen my heart in every way possible and I never truly knew what unconditional love was until you made me a mother. The last two years, just the three of us, have been the greatest years of my life. Your daddy and I had the most amazing life before you – so much adventure, so full, but, no one could’ve prepared us for the adventure and fullness you would bring. You instantly changed our world for the better. You changed my heart, you changed who I was, you gave me a new capacity to love, and you gracefully forced me into a role I was made to play. Each and every day with you has been the absolute joy of my life. Even when it was hard, it was beautifully hard. Even on days where I thought I’d break, you held me together. Seeing my reflection in your eyes has given me a strength like I’ve never known before. A fierce protection that I’ll never lose focus of.
You are a perfect combination of both of us. Goofy and the life of the party like dada, but you love hard like mama. Watching you grow as you come into your little personality, create strong boundaries, and cultivate your intuition has been the most amazing thing to watch. You’re so intentional about who you ask for, who you run to when you need to feel loved, and who you let in – I love that about you. It’s definitive and it’s strong and I hope you never lose that sense of self. Surrounding yourself with people who have the same heart as you will always make you feel understood + known and that’s such a gift. You’re the first to start a dance party, you always want to be outside, you thrive off of a routine, nothing makes you happier than a pair of pink shoes, you’re happiest at home – preferably with a full table, you pick up on emotions in a way that always surprises me, you love getting dressed for the day, music does something for your soul and instantly calms you down, you are daddy’s helper in every way, and you know exactly what you want. You are so strong, so capable – I promise I’ll remind you of that every day for the rest of my life.
I promise to always make time for just us. I promise to always stop in my tracks when your little hands grab my face. I promise that on days when I feel like my all isn’t enough, I’ll still give more. I promise to always listen, always talk you through anything. I promise to always dance with you in the kitchen. I promise to see life through your eyes and show you the world. I promise, I will love you with a fierce, infinite love, forever. You are all the best parts of me and I’ve never been more proud of anything in my life.
It’s bittersweet to think about the fact that you won’t remember the last two years, just our trio. However, I know it’s each and every one of those days together that have cultivated the love we have today as we enter a new season. Love is a feeling, an action, and above all else – I know you feel that in your soul. We’re adding even more love to our family, to your life, and welcoming the fullness. You are going to be the best big sister and I can’t wait to see how much these baby boys love you.
I love you forever and always, Linen James.