DEAR LINEN.

BÈBÈ
Wholehearted

Dear Linen,

Where do I even start?  We’re less than a week away from meeting you and it feels very surreal.  There are tears streaming down my cheeks just typing this and thinking about your arrival.  I can’t wait to see your sweet face, feel your heartbeat on my chest, and whisper how much I love you in your little ear.  There are so many things your dad and I can’t wait for – so many people we can’t wait for you to meet, so many things to tell you about, so many parts of the world to show you.  But for now, while it’s still just you and me as one for a few more days, here’s what I want you to know.

The last 9 months of carrying you has been the greatest joy of my life.  I loved you from the moment I saw those two lines on our pregnancy test.  The moment I knew this was real – you were real, I fell in love with you.  Every single day since, 273 days of growing you, has been nothing short of a miracle.  Hearing your heartbeat for the first time, feeling flutters that quickly turned into kicks, seeing you move on ultrasound after ultrasound, seeing your dad’s eyes light up when my stomach moves each morning – it’s all been the most beautiful experience and I wouldn’t change one second of it.  Throughout this season of life, you’ve reminded me how strong I am, and I promise to do the same for you every single day of yours.

You are so wanted, so prayed for, so loved.  If there’s one thing I learned in the 18 months of trying for you, it’s that God’s timing is always perfect.  I’m a bit of a control freak, a little too anxious at times, and most definitely a planner.  It’s inevitable that you probably will be, too.  However, hard seasons teach us invaluable lessons.  They change us.  Shape us into who we’re supposed to be.  I want you to know that only He can take brokenness and make it something beautiful.  On good days and bad, and everything in between, I want you to always chase Jesus.  Holiness.  Trust His timing.  Pray without ceasing.  Your dad and I have been married for almost 11 years and we’ve prayed for you since day one.  We’ve had the most amazing life together and it’s unimaginable how much better it’s about to get.  Our unbreakable duo is shifting into a trio and we’re so ready.  The four walls we’re bringing you home to are filled with so much love and I can’t wait for you to feel that – truly feel that every day.

You have the best dad in the world.  I think this is something that a lot of people say, but you’ll soon see how true this actually is because your dad’s actions always speak for themselves.  There’s no one that doesn’t love your dad.  He’s the life of the party, always making everyone laugh, and you can count on him for anything.  There’s nothing the man can’t do – trust me, I’ve done the leg work.  He’ll be the one cooking all of our favorite foods, painting your room a color that probably won’t be neutral when you’re ready to change it, and teaching you how to grow flowers in the backyard.  Your dad has loved me through it all.  We’ve been through so much together and I share everything with him.  Every thought, every feeling.  The same safe place he is for me, he’ll be for you.  He can’t wait to protect you. He can take your heaviness away.  He’ll make you laugh in the moments you need it most.  Somehow, he can handle it all.  As a woman, I can tell you that there’s no love like the love between a little girl and her daddy – and honey, yours is solid gold.  He’s rare, he’s so intentional, and he will love you so well. Never take that for granted – you have something so many don’t.  I promise there’s truth and validity in everything he tells you.

The one word I want you to feel in your bones from us is trust.  We’re going to mess up, we’re far from perfect, and there will inevitably be a few hard days.  But, I want you to know to your core who your parents are.  I want the same connection I feel to you right now as you’re inside of me to always exist. I promise you we’ll never leave. We’ll be honest.  We’ll always do what’s best for you.  We’ll continue to love each other well and put each other first so we can be better for you.  We’ll choose you.  When you hurt, we’ll hurt.  If you feel it, we’ll feel it with you. There’s nothing you can’t tell us, nothing you can’t bring to us.  We will love you through anything.

You’re so fearfully and wonderfully made.  I can’t wait to see who you look like.  I hope you have my eyes and your dad’s cute, little nose.  I pray you can tan because you know mama is raising you by the water.  I hope your freckles come out in the sun like daddy’s do and I promise to never let you over tweeze your eyebrows. Regardless of any and all of that – you’re perfect.  And I don’t want you to forget that for one second.  We’re hard on ourselves, as women, but I want you to always remember that you are exactly who you’re supposed to be. From the way you look to the depths of your soul.  Focus on making your insides more beautiful than the out – focus on your heart.  Be kind.  Be inclusive.  Be respectful to your elders and always use your manners, it’s a lost art.  Love people hard.  Know there’s so much power in prayer.  See as much of the world as possible – it changes you in the best way.  Remember the lessons we teach you as a child and take them with you as you get older – often times it’s the simple lessons that are instilled in us as children that apply through every season of life.  Be confident, but never cocky.  Work hard and chase your dreams – this world has so much to offer you.  Always stand up for what you believe in.  On hard days, take a drive.  Turn the music up, but never run away.  Feel, process, and heal.  Choose your friends wisely and know that God will give you the right people in your life when you need them.  Speak life into the people you love.  Pray over them and know that only a handful will be in it with you for the long haul.  And that’s perfect.  Never forget where you come from – your humble beginnings make you who you are.  There’s no stronger tie in the world than family.  When your soul needs to reset, find the ocean.  Feel small and out of control – it’s good for us.  Protect your safe place called home and know that’s where you should feel most at peace.  Find magic in the little things like family traditions and celebrating everything you possibly can – those are the moments you’ll cherish most.  Above everything – know that love conquers all.

You are all the best parts of us.  It’s indescribable how much we love you and you’re not even here yet.  From the time you can read this until you’re old and gray, remember these words and reread them on days when you need to be reminded.  Until then, we’ll spend the rest of our lives showing you + trying our best to be a genuine example of everything above.  We love you endlessly, Linen bébé.

  • – Your mama

7 Comments

Pam Covil

That is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read I’m so glad I haven’t put on any eye makeup today or it would be cried off. I love you, John and Linen soooo much!!!! Can’t wait to meet her!

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Carmen Putnam

So beautifully written Meg. Linen is so loved by all of us already and i can’t wait to get my hands on her and to love all three of you in this next season. You are beautiful mama and a heart of gold. Jrun is amazing too and agree with every word you said about him! He loves my girls so well. Good luck!! We are here with you every step!

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Krystal

Wanna say something…this was so beautifully written. It is the deepest part of a mother’s heart. It never leaves you. I can promise you when you are 60 80 90 years young you will feel the same to your core. Love you both as family, but love you more as human beings making the world a kinder, gentler place by just living well in it. Praying for you both and little Linen daily.

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Jenny Bea Ellis

Wow, I have tears streaming down my face. What a beautiful letter to your baby girl. Thank you for sharing it with those that follow your blog. Congratulations to you and your husband. Hoping everything goes perfect for you when she arrives. God is SO GOOD!! Many blessings to you and your family.

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Cameron Black

This is such a beautiful letter. I realize I’m a little late since Linen has already been born, but I wanted to say that this letter is not only heartfelt, but inspiring. I love you, John, and Linen from the bottom of my heart and I cannot wait to see all of you again.

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