WHOLEHEARTED | A LOVE LETTER – XX, J + MEG
Even though this week has been beyond a whirlwind, I’ve felt like I couldn’t truly close one chapter and enter another one without writing this. We have been overwhelmed with emotion this week in the best way. In some sense, I feel as if I’m grieving because I’m no longer carrying her inside of me, all while being so immensely grateful that she’s in my arms. It’s wild – how can I love someone so much that I’ve only known for a few hours? I wake up with tears in my eyes, so thankful. I stare at her little face all day, studying her features and noting how she’s changing by the hour. I can’t stand to be away from her for more than a few minutes. I want her on me, watching her dream, knowing she’s alright. Warm, content, and fulfilled in every way. I watch her with J and it makes my heart literally ache. In a matter of seconds, I know that little snapshot is God’s way of reminding me how much He loves me. The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that people are our greatest gifts. Connection and love to those people – that’s what fills my soul. Seeing Linen in J’s arms is a perfect example of that. I could go on forever.
That said, there’s so much about this week and her arrival that has made me so excited for what’s to come. But, I have to acknowledge and share my heart before truly closing the chapter of sharing my pregnancy and the last 9 months with you. From the moment we announced that we were pregnant to delivering on Tuesday, so many of you have celebrated every step of the way with us. You’ve been so genuinely happy for us and our growing family. You gave me the grace I needed when I was silent or struggling, yet spoke up with kindness and advice when I asked for it. The truth is, this job is unlike any other. There’s no rule book, no right or wrong, no hard line in the sand on most things. In a lot of ways, I thrive off of that and I like writing my own rules. So many of you are strangers, yet others I’ve connected with over the last 8 years on a soul level. Throughout my pregnancy, there was no either/or, but just a raw openness between women supporting women. In the same, genuine way you celebrated with us, I shared this season of life with you in the most genuine way I knew how. The last 9 months restored a part of me that I’d unintentionally lost. It reminded me how strong I am, it sparked so much creativity within that I hadn’t felt in some time. It restored the ultra-feminine side of my style, challenged me to design a nursery like I’d never seen before, and allowed me to find a new sense of self that I’m so confident in. All of that combined with the intense connection I found myself feeling with all of you – rejuvenated my soul in more ways than you know.
There wasn’t a day throughout our pregnancy that I didn’t feel so loved + supported by all of you, and for that, I am forever grateful. The comments, messages, emails – everything that poured in day after day meant everything to me. I can’t thank you enough for meeting me in that vulnerable place and sharing your hearts with me. I have no doubt that the next season will be exactly the same – celebrating the highs and walking through the lows, together. It’s only been 5 days and I can already tell that the next few weeks will be brutal and beautiful, all at the same time. So as we close one chapter, and run into the next head first – thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving us. Trusting us with your stories. Walking through the good and the hard with us. Caring about the little things, all while focusing more on the bigger. Filling my cup with your words. And over the last 8 years, making this one specifically, the sweetest season of life + sharing it here with all of you. We’re forever grateful and we love you – all three of us.