Behind the Blog // #ADULTING

TGIF, babes – 
As most of you know, I often like to dive in a bit deeper than usual in my ‘behind the blog’ series, and today I wanted to write about something that’s been on my heart + mind for a while.  As I was thinking about this subject the past couple of months and how to tie it in to the blog, do you know what I came up with?  Nothing.  It has absolutely nothing to do with fashion, travel, home decor, etc.  However, it has everything to do with being an adult.  A strong, genuine, just plain human – adult. 
So here’s my thought: how do you deal with pain as an adult?  I mean actual knock the breath out of you, bring you to tears, shake you to your core, standing in the line of fire – pain.  If we’re being honest, we all have something in our lives that defines the word ‘pain’ for us.  Whatever it may be, how do we handle it on a day to day basis?  When you’re a child, it’s perfectly okay to kick, scream, and throw your hands in the air.  More than okay, it’s completely normal.  Yet as adults, we’re expected to handle everything life throws at us with grace.  And understanding.  And forgiveness.  And even strength.  But, how?  
Most of you know some of my background and a lot of what’s made me the person I am today.  I’m someone who feels things really hard.  I used to think that was a bad thing, but over the years, I’ve learned it’s completely okay.  However, I’ve also learned that sometimes it means the road to moving past something is long.  And intense.  And causes more emotions than you ever thought possible.  So on days when life seems too much to bare, we have to focus on what sets our souls on fire again.  What wakes us up in the morning and what allows us to sleep at night.  
Throughout the last eight to ten years of growing up quickly, getting married at a young age, and experiencing some of the pain I’m referring to, I’ve learned that these three things make moving on possible.
01. // Relationships.  By far, the most important in my opinion.  Having people you can run to when life takes a turn is everything.  I’ve actually learned that the best people are the ones you don’t have to run to – they run to you.  The people who pick you up off the floor and don’t have to say a word.  They just know.  And let me tell you, when you find those people, don’t let them go.   The older I get, the more I learn that genuine relationships make my world go ’round. 
02. // Good for your soul.  Sometimes this can take a little time to figure out, but knowing what’s good for your soul and making time for that as often as possible, is so necessary.  We all get caught up in rushing to the next appointment, an unending inbox, and too many things we’re responsible for, but we have to know when to call it a day.  For me, this is completely pausing my day and praying.  There’s nothing that puts my heart more at ease than one-on-one time with the only One who can calm the storm in my life.  It’s also music.  Driving down the open road, wind in my hair, and music as loud as it will go.  Other days it’s simply staying home + dancing in the kitchen while cooking with J.  Whatever it is, and whatever makes you feel most alive – do that.  
03. // Scars.  Inevitably, life is going to throw some really hard stuff at us.  As adults, we may not get to kick and scream (in public at least), but we can deal with tough situations by allowing them to make us better.  I love the Miranda Lambert verse ‘When I’m drowning, when I’m fighting, when I’m screaming, when I’m hiding, when I’m loosing, when I’m winning, I go back to the beginning…’  Sometimes, it takes getting through the pain and having scars to show from it to truly reflect and learn from it.  It’s never easy, but there’s so much freedom in knowing you were built for it.  The strongest people never have an easy past.
Without continuing to ramble, I felt that it was really important to start this conversation today.  I feel like if it’s a constant thought in my head, it has to be somewhat relatable.  I’m not an amazing writer when it comes to this subject matter – my head is usually all over the place + there’s so much I want to say that I can’t get my thoughts in order.  However, sometimes I simply have to look past the clothes and the accessories and write from the heart.  You guys are the best, love you all.  X.


J. Ellarie

I believe I started following you right after your background post last year so I didn't know all of that history with you. All I knew was that you were married young. I agree with you that everything we go through, even when it's painful things, makes us who we are. You are definitely a strong beautiful woman! We only get to see the pretty happy parts of bloggers but rarely the other things that are going on in our lives that we struggle with. I hope you have a wonderful weekend! If you come back out to Long Island and want a tour of the North Fork, let me know!! xoxo


I just ❤️ Your blog. It's the only one I still subscribe to out of probably 50+ I have through the years, because of posts like this. You're so open and human and you blog with heart not just for clicks for compensation above anything else. Keep being the beautiful soul you are!


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